the watch

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I haven’t worn my watch for a long time now. And why should I?

Travelling in Kenya (Africa) isn’t fixed to specific times or dates. You just look for transport, wait, wait even longer, eat something, wait, talk to someone, wait, play with your mobile, wait…and then eventually transport arrives – only to realize that it actually goes to another direction.

While growing up in Nairobi, I never rearlly cared about this time factor. Things just happened this way and it was ok. Now I am older and time becomes more precious. It’s like waiting in front of the computer for pages to load from the internet: An annoying waste of time – but there’s nothing you can do about it.

(although, as for travelling, I’ve come to the conclusion that instead of paying 300 bob in advance for a 10pax shuttle bus to Nbo and waiting for more than two hours for the ******* bus to arrive, I should instead just walk by the roadside and take the next matatu coming along. this way, it should just work.)

How to…make a saltshaker….

..out of an old bottle (when there’s a power failure and only candles to illuminate the room):

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1. take a used bottle & cut it into three pieces. throw away the middle part.

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2. drill some holes into the lid with the knife of your choice

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3. fill it up with some salt…

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4. add rice to avoid moisture within the salt…

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5. close the shaker by fixing the bottom piece of the bottle

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6. ready! (you may want to add some adhesive tape to enhance stability)

…and some things only cost 5 bob…

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…like the Adazi (Mandazi) or that cup of chai.
Please note the nice arrangement of menu cards, calendar & kitsch wisdom.

And what about the most ugliest pair of shoes I’ve ever bought in my life?

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they…

  • were relatively cheap (199/= Ksh)
  • are Made in Kenya (supporting the local economy, etc.)
  • are comfy “mens hi-quality sandles” which can be worn with socks (now try that with the normal sandals)
  • were available in my size (same as Mental’s)
  • cheaper than the fake Adiletten sandals which also weren’t available in my size
  • match my clothes when it’s dark outside
  • hey, this is Embu! who cares? :-)

beef kebap & co

Everyone, THX for the comments! Just accessed my mails via Celtel & Safaricom dial-up. In fact, I bought a Celtel SIM card today to check out their GPRS for prepaid customers (first card I had bought was expired so I had to return it – imagine that!) but whatever I try – it just doesn’t work. Will I have to wait until I am back in Nai @ SaritCentre to eventually understand the settings needed for GPRS + my computer? Or…Mental, saidia mimi tafadhali: how did you set it up on your 6230(i)? I understand that GPRS is much better. I do have a notebook + bluetooth connection + Nokia 6230i + Nokia PC Suite 6.81. (rel 13) but just can’t get it going with GPRS. Dial-up works fine though, although @ 9.600…

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So I tried this “Ndugekire maguta mengi irio-ri” thing on the mpichi that cooks @ the snack bar downstairs – I wrote it down so that he would understand it. As a result of that, the whole kitchen staff explained to me the difference between “beef smokies” and “beef sausages” (they still look the same to me, but so what) and I ended up being served with something called “Beef kebap” for 30 /=.

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Delicious!

The knife is “Made in Germany” – and while pointing this out to one of the waiters (“Hey, the knife is from my country..” ), he imediately named almost all players and trainers of the German National (soccer) team. Now THAT’s Kenya :-)

On my way to work, I came across these dead Land Rovers that had been parked on a government plot.

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……………

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Embu doesn’t seem to be too hectic. These birds (in the middle of the picture) awaited the first flying ants that came out of a hole in the ground and caught them “in action”. It really rained buckets last night, but just about lunch time, Embu again looked like a dry city in the sun…I guess it’s the light and the Jacaranda trees that make this town so charming.

home sweet home (in Embu)

1 EUR ==> ~ 90 Kshs.

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1 new bed (made from cheaper materials, Embu price): 1650 /= Kshs.
1 new high density mattress 6,7 x 4 ft.: 3550 /= Kshs.
1 high density foam 20″ x 22″ (to fit in the remaining frame the mattress doesn’t cover – hey, I am tall!): 230 /= Kshs.
1 really huge (72 x 90″) blanket: 675 /= Kshs.
2 pillows (27 x 18″): 398 /= Kshs.
4 pc bed & pillow sheets: 799 /= Kshs.
1 Kikoi to cover the window: 300 /= Kshs.
1 “PermaNet” pre-treated mosquito net: 800 /= Kshs.

A wonderful colleague by the name of Zakayo who organised the bed at this price, had it delivered to the room, kicked the landlord to have the room repainted in time and just stood in front of the building when I arrived: priceless .

Zakayo – thengiu muno!

We rushed to Maguna Andu (“helping people”) supermarket here in Embu to buy the mattress etc before the shops closed and rewarded us with the obligatory Tusker and some mbuzi choma.

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2 kgs of Mbuzi for 4 people

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preparing the meat for the grill…

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(pole for the weak picture quality)

Mbuzi (goat), Kachumbari (tomatoes, onions), Ugali (maize), Salt, Tusker (beer) and coke. YEAH!

When I woke up next day, I still smelled like a goat. Thx god it’s a holiday.

My room is approx. 20m away from a bar/restaurant…meaning: I smell fried chips and the meat grill while writing these lines, am killing cockroaches who want to make their way from the bathroom to my bed, there is no water in the “kitchen” and I have meanwhile gotten used to the noises coming from the bar (which opens @ 7 a.m. and closes long after I’ve gone to bed)…but it’s a safe (?) place somewhere downtown in Embu, relatively cheap, on a tarmacked (sp?) road (less mud during rainy season) and right now they are playing Daudi Kabaka’s “Safari Tanganyika”. Could I ask for more?

YES! An internet café would be nice… *gg*

The Collector of Worlds

Anyone remembers Binyavanga’s comment on “Nairobi people living in two different worlds?”. It is so true. Again and again.

There was this public reading (organized by the German Cultural Centre (Goethe-Institut) & the German Department @ University of Nairobi) by Ilija Trojanow and Binyavanga Wainaina at the Goethe Auditorium (@ Maendeleo ya Wanawake House – used to be one of Nairobi’s tallest buildings in the 1970s!) on Thursday evening. They jointly read passages in German and English from a new book by Ilija Trojanow about Sir Richard Francis Burton, a “Mecca pilgrim and world traveller” (btw, Burton also introduced the first edition/translation of the Indian Kamasutra books to the UK among other stories). Ilija wrote a biographical novel aptly titled “Der Weltensammler” (The Collector of Worlds) on R.F.Burton – a man who was just as mysterious and sort of multicultural cosmopolitan as the author himself. Someone who kept track of his Wanderlust and never really stuck to a place. But whereas Burton’s wife eventually burned all his diaries, Trojanow has been an active publisher and promoter of books. I like Ilija’s picturesque style of describing situations, and how he manages to combine all these different worlds under one roof by using different characters / perspectives in his book.

I had read about this event in the Daily Nation on Tuesday and instantly knew it would be a perfect chance to meet some old friends at the GI. Ilija used to be a student @ the German School in Nairobi way back in the 1970s/80s and has since then often returned to the country. He’s a third culture kid like most of us out here in the blogosphere (all Nairobians are to some extent, ama?) and seems to have an understanding of the culture in the colonial East Africa and how to describe it in his book through the eyes of Burton. An interesting story.

I think it is against this background that made him write a novel on such a controversial character Burton was. And of course the Arab + East African connection: Trojanow recently  accepted (not: converted to!) the Islam as his religion because parts of his family already share that believe (and for other, much more intimate reasons which he disclosed in other interviews online. Reasons that make me understand this rather unusual, but very motivated move) . Burton disguised as a Muslim pilger in order to go on a pilgrimage to Mecca (he even received a circumcision to fully prepare for the pilgrimage!) – something Trojanow also achieved (~ getting a visa for Saudi Arabia) by living with the Deobandi in India for some time.

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Binyavanga and Ilija are two very different characters who – in my opinion – have come around and have an understanding for the cosmopolitan context (both lived in SA, btw). An ability which is needed to describe situations – I guess you have to be some sort of collector to aggregate impressions/worlds and imagine them in your head before you can put them down in words. After all, it’s just not the beauty of the language that attracts people to read, but the way these worlds are combined / arranged and described using appropriate words. Both authors know how to do this – and have found their readers here and elsewhere.

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Talking of B.Wainaina – Kwani? #4 will be out soon and hopefully available for the christmas market. All KenyanTourists (KTs) abroad should seriously think about getting their copy this time. Kwani #1,#2 & #3 have already been a success story and received with great interest by the public. Obviously, I couldn’t resist from asking both authors about a possible future cooperation, and the idea isn’t so far fetched…Kwani isn’t Wainaina’s only project – he told us about his 2nd (own) book which needs to be finished soon. Good luck!

Going to such events also includes meeting new people…new worlds…new stories. There’s this jamaa by the name of Bernhard we met tonight who came all the way from Germany to Kenya to do an internship at Kenyatta Hospital in Nairobi. Free of charge! Ok, there’s a scholarship that pays for his expenses, but nevertheless – most of you can easily imagine what it takes to work at Kenyatta Hospital. Bernhard told me that he also blogs his experiences. In any case: respect, bro!

Finally: Welcome home, Kui! (<= I would like to put a smiley here..)

Minni Inn Ltd., Embu

There was this management workshop for a gazettable paper which made us book rooms @ Embu’s Minni Inn. The place itself is very basic, but compared to my new flat in Embu downtown it is pure luxury. Things are a little bit different over here. Whereas Nairobi ppl would be spoilt enough to expect certain things, Embu standards are orientated on the rural comfort, meaning: anything that exceeds fetching water from the river is considered luxury.

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A perfect example for the typical kenyanesque overstatement is that they’ve put huge tv sets in each room – despite the fact that there’s really poor reception of tv signals (at least) in this part of Embu. “Please do not try to adjust tv channels” it says on the room information.

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In the very same room you’ll find a broken toilet seat and one of those italian water heaters (!!) installed on the shower which – of course – is out of order. A brand new tv set and poor sanitational facilities? Now how does that match?

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And the best part was this array of nails on a piece of wood – nailed to the middle of the wall BEHIND the bed which was supposed to be some sort of coat hooks. Aterere….

The first night all guest were woken up at 1 am and 3 am but loud noises coming from the Bar area. Since the Bar officially closes down at 11 pm, it was obvious that the watchman would be the one to be blamed: an old askari who doesn’t speak English and who turned up the volume of the installed tv set (+ poor signal reception!) in order to stay awake and get some entertainment.
The first night we prayed for a power failure and things eventually settled at 3.30 am, the second night the noises came back and so I went to the Bar at 4 am and found this old askari sitting there like a dumb sheep. “Kelele…..mbaya….na hakuna maji”. When I woke up at 4, there was no water in the whole place. How come? The hotel has 4 huge containers and a ferrocement tank but the pump is a little bit faulty and needs to be continously switched on and off in order to work. The guy in charge of that (who??) apparently forgot to take care of it.

“Station under new management” – one often reads this marketing slogan on petrol stations. I wish this could be applied on Minni Inn as well. With the right management and some more diligence / speed by the employees, this place could rock. But instead they prefer to let themselves go. Ok ok, they have never been to places like The Grand Regency, Serena, Hemingway’s (the toilets!), etc etc to see what’s possible, and no one expects a middle class hotel to offer the same luxury as a 4 star Hotel. However, there are a few things that just require little amounts of money and some time in order to make guest feel very welcome.

Minni Inn Ltd., Embu

single room 250/= Kshs.
single room (self contained) 500/= Kshs.
double room (self contained) 1.000/= Kshs.

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One of the few moments when people are brought together in unity (watching soccer :-).

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Ugali, fried potatoes and nyama, nyama, nyama…..

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…you eat nyama all day long and end up longing for such a plate full of vegetabooools na fruits.

My wonderful colleagues have found a nice flat/room for me in Embu for 3.500/= /month. Very secure, with a nice view on Embu. The previous tenant has been a Somali who slept on the floor and who left the place covered with rubbish when he moved out. Did he get his deposit back? If you do this in Germany, your landlord will track you down and kick your butt until it really hurts. Since the place is so popular with Embu folks, the landlord wouldn’t have probs renting it out so cleaning is a matter left to the next tenant. Which would be me.

rural internet

Holadiho! I was just abooool to read my email via the phone’s internal wap browser (Nokia 6230i). Right here in Embu, Kenya. Now that’s cool.

Next task will be to find a decent internet café. In the meantime I am dreaming of free WLAN networks/hotspots all over the country.

Speaking of Productivity issues: I spent about 5 hrs last Sunday morning moving from one inet café to the next just to download my emails and trying to blog some stuff. At around 4 pm, I was so pissed that my blogdesk uploading tool didn’t work (due to inet connection issues) and that I had actually wasted the best part of the day on such a dumb task. Am I stupid? I guess so…and all of that while still in NAIROBI!

So….Nairobi or Embu, going online works as long as you stick to your mobile phone. As soon as you dial Safaricom’s #951, the trouble starts as you’re charged per minute while nothing happens. Being online doesn’t imply that one can be productive (~ downloading informations). THAT’s a real pain. Who wants to pay for a service that doesn’t work the way it is supposed to be?