The Collector of Worlds

Anyone remembers Binyavanga’s comment on “Nairobi people living in two different worlds?”. It is so true. Again and again.

There was this public reading (organized by the German Cultural Centre (Goethe-Institut) & the German Department @ University of Nairobi) by Ilija Trojanow and Binyavanga Wainaina at the Goethe Auditorium (@ Maendeleo ya Wanawake House – used to be one of Nairobi’s tallest buildings in the 1970s!) on Thursday evening. They jointly read passages in German and English from a new book by Ilija Trojanow about Sir Richard Francis Burton, a “Mecca pilgrim and world traveller” (btw, Burton also introduced the first edition/translation of the Indian Kamasutra books to the UK among other stories). Ilija wrote a biographical novel aptly titled “Der Weltensammler” (The Collector of Worlds) on R.F.Burton – a man who was just as mysterious and sort of multicultural cosmopolitan as the author himself. Someone who kept track of his Wanderlust and never really stuck to a place. But whereas Burton’s wife eventually burned all his diaries, Trojanow has been an active publisher and promoter of books. I like Ilija’s picturesque style of describing situations, and how he manages to combine all these different worlds under one roof by using different characters / perspectives in his book.

I had read about this event in the Daily Nation on Tuesday and instantly knew it would be a perfect chance to meet some old friends at the GI. Ilija used to be a student @ the German School in Nairobi way back in the 1970s/80s and has since then often returned to the country. He’s a third culture kid like most of us out here in the blogosphere (all Nairobians are to some extent, ama?) and seems to have an understanding of the culture in the colonial East Africa and how to describe it in his book through the eyes of Burton. An interesting story.

I think it is against this background that made him write a novel on such a controversial character Burton was. And of course the Arab + East African connection: Trojanow recently  accepted (not: converted to!) the Islam as his religion because parts of his family already share that believe (and for other, much more intimate reasons which he disclosed in other interviews online. Reasons that make me understand this rather unusual, but very motivated move) . Burton disguised as a Muslim pilger in order to go on a pilgrimage to Mecca (he even received a circumcision to fully prepare for the pilgrimage!) – something Trojanow also achieved (~ getting a visa for Saudi Arabia) by living with the Deobandi in India for some time.

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Binyavanga and Ilija are two very different characters who – in my opinion – have come around and have an understanding for the cosmopolitan context (both lived in SA, btw). An ability which is needed to describe situations – I guess you have to be some sort of collector to aggregate impressions/worlds and imagine them in your head before you can put them down in words. After all, it’s just not the beauty of the language that attracts people to read, but the way these worlds are combined / arranged and described using appropriate words. Both authors know how to do this – and have found their readers here and elsewhere.

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Talking of B.Wainaina – Kwani? #4 will be out soon and hopefully available for the christmas market. All KenyanTourists (KTs) abroad should seriously think about getting their copy this time. Kwani #1,#2 & #3 have already been a success story and received with great interest by the public. Obviously, I couldn’t resist from asking both authors about a possible future cooperation, and the idea isn’t so far fetched…Kwani isn’t Wainaina’s only project – he told us about his 2nd (own) book which needs to be finished soon. Good luck!

Going to such events also includes meeting new people…new worlds…new stories. There’s this jamaa by the name of Bernhard we met tonight who came all the way from Germany to Kenya to do an internship at Kenyatta Hospital in Nairobi. Free of charge! Ok, there’s a scholarship that pays for his expenses, but nevertheless – most of you can easily imagine what it takes to work at Kenyatta Hospital. Bernhard told me that he also blogs his experiences. In any case: respect, bro!

Finally: Welcome home, Kui! (<= I would like to put a smiley here..)

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I came home at 10.30 pm, listened to the daily dose of wisdom by my dear friend Njuguna from Ruaka and switched on his tv to see Martha K. answer nasty questions on corruption issues. Martha sure is someone you wouldn’t want to mess with. I somehow like her though.

Being scared off her P.Muiteesque eyes (same scary eyebooools) and very clear line of reasoning against any allegations, we switched channels and tuned into KBC which presented us with this:

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(sorry for the poor sreenshot – I took this occasion to try out my new analog/digital tv pcmcia/pc card and still haven’t found a proper antenna)

One of these typical “dial in” shows where people are supposed to solve very difficult riddles and waste a lot of money on telephone charges. In other words: whoever calls the displayed number will most likely waste his hard earned money.

The other annoying side of it is that the presenters in these shows have no other job but to keep on animating people to pick up the phone and dial that number. Which means that they keep on talking BS and make a fool out of themselves. I wonder how this show is accepted among the public. Do they like it?

You know, in Germany there are about 5 to 7 tv channels at the moment who show such programms starting from around 10 pm every night until morning hours. Some of these presenters even strip naked (breasts) to attract (male) viewers – which of course is very embarrassing in front of those visitors that come from (much) more restriced countries.

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(a screenshot from DSF – sports channel on German tv earlier this year)

Yeah…that’s our world in 2006….

Fellow blogger Majonzi asked me about a possible culture shock in rural Embu. I never expected any luxury in Embu and will of course have to adopt to the rural lifestyle (although of course the place I am staying is still very much urban).
WHAT shocks me though is this KBC programme that doesn’t differ in any ways from what they showing to the masses over in Europe. Same stupidity and tacky way of luring dumb viewers in spending their hard earned money on unsuccesful phone calls.

HAPPY KENYATTA DAY!

Minni Inn Ltd., Embu

There was this management workshop for a gazettable paper which made us book rooms @ Embu’s Minni Inn. The place itself is very basic, but compared to my new flat in Embu downtown it is pure luxury. Things are a little bit different over here. Whereas Nairobi ppl would be spoilt enough to expect certain things, Embu standards are orientated on the rural comfort, meaning: anything that exceeds fetching water from the river is considered luxury.

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A perfect example for the typical kenyanesque overstatement is that they’ve put huge tv sets in each room – despite the fact that there’s really poor reception of tv signals (at least) in this part of Embu. “Please do not try to adjust tv channels” it says on the room information.

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In the very same room you’ll find a broken toilet seat and one of those italian water heaters (!!) installed on the shower which – of course – is out of order. A brand new tv set and poor sanitational facilities? Now how does that match?

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And the best part was this array of nails on a piece of wood – nailed to the middle of the wall BEHIND the bed which was supposed to be some sort of coat hooks. Aterere….

The first night all guest were woken up at 1 am and 3 am but loud noises coming from the Bar area. Since the Bar officially closes down at 11 pm, it was obvious that the watchman would be the one to be blamed: an old askari who doesn’t speak English and who turned up the volume of the installed tv set (+ poor signal reception!) in order to stay awake and get some entertainment.
The first night we prayed for a power failure and things eventually settled at 3.30 am, the second night the noises came back and so I went to the Bar at 4 am and found this old askari sitting there like a dumb sheep. “Kelele…..mbaya….na hakuna maji”. When I woke up at 4, there was no water in the whole place. How come? The hotel has 4 huge containers and a ferrocement tank but the pump is a little bit faulty and needs to be continously switched on and off in order to work. The guy in charge of that (who??) apparently forgot to take care of it.

“Station under new management” – one often reads this marketing slogan on petrol stations. I wish this could be applied on Minni Inn as well. With the right management and some more diligence / speed by the employees, this place could rock. But instead they prefer to let themselves go. Ok ok, they have never been to places like The Grand Regency, Serena, Hemingway’s (the toilets!), etc etc to see what’s possible, and no one expects a middle class hotel to offer the same luxury as a 4 star Hotel. However, there are a few things that just require little amounts of money and some time in order to make guest feel very welcome.

Minni Inn Ltd., Embu

single room 250/= Kshs.
single room (self contained) 500/= Kshs.
double room (self contained) 1.000/= Kshs.

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One of the few moments when people are brought together in unity (watching soccer :-).

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Ugali, fried potatoes and nyama, nyama, nyama…..

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…you eat nyama all day long and end up longing for such a plate full of vegetabooools na fruits.

My wonderful colleagues have found a nice flat/room for me in Embu for 3.500/= /month. Very secure, with a nice view on Embu. The previous tenant has been a Somali who slept on the floor and who left the place covered with rubbish when he moved out. Did he get his deposit back? If you do this in Germany, your landlord will track you down and kick your butt until it really hurts. Since the place is so popular with Embu folks, the landlord wouldn’t have probs renting it out so cleaning is a matter left to the next tenant. Which would be me.

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Holadiho! I was just abooool to read my email via the phone’s internal wap browser (Nokia 6230i). Right here in Embu, Kenya. Now that’s cool.

Next task will be to find a decent internet café. In the meantime I am dreaming of free WLAN networks/hotspots all over the country.

Speaking of Productivity issues: I spent about 5 hrs last Sunday morning moving from one inet café to the next just to download my emails and trying to blog some stuff. At around 4 pm, I was so pissed that my blogdesk uploading tool didn’t work (due to inet connection issues) and that I had actually wasted the best part of the day on such a dumb task. Am I stupid? I guess so…and all of that while still in NAIROBI!

So….Nairobi or Embu, going online works as long as you stick to your mobile phone. As soon as you dial Safaricom’s #951, the trouble starts as you’re charged per minute while nothing happens. Being online doesn’t imply that one can be productive (~ downloading informations). THAT’s a real pain. Who wants to pay for a service that doesn’t work the way it is supposed to be?

KJT Datsun

While working on the Suzuki, I came across this KJT (~ 1976?) Datsun station wagon which was completely worn out.

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The owner of the car told me that it had been involved in an accident and was parked under a tree at a local police station for some time. He wants to invest the sum of 20.000 Kshs to have it repaired and then intends to sell it for 120.000 Kshs. The bench was covered with exterior spare parts…

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“Yes, the motor, no problem – when I put a battery here, it just takes one kick and it can start.” – “Aterere….”

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“Come back on Tuesday”, the owner told me, “…and you’ll see this car like new.”

Yeah, sure…. (==> KENYA believe it??! :-)

jua kali ²

Somewhere downtown Nairobi there is a place called ” Kaburi” on Quarry Road. Muslim cemeteries have given the place it’s name – and just like dead bodies, the area also accomodates jua kali workshops – auto/car garages that turn dead car chassis into saleable items of desire. In other words: if you have a broken car and need it to be fixed fast, cheap and efficiently: THIS is the place. I think it’s also the CHEAPEST place in Kenya.

I was told they have a turnover of about a million Kshs. every day – remember: everyone of the guys working there needs to pocket about 500/= Kshs. per day (on average) in order “to buy lunch”. The basic principles of this business are that a) work is done fast and b) the place regulates itself (hakuna City Council supervision). Anyone who dares to mess with customers will be thrown out the compound. Strict rules for a self-regulating business. Hard, but fair.

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The “operating room” (note NBO’s skyline in the background)

Our 1986 Suzuki SierraJX (“Hey, my friend, how much for you car? Me I want to buy…” – ppl love these small 4WD cars) needed a refurbishment and when we got it some time ago, I had removed the old carpets inside which were just too dirty. Our dear friend Peter showed us the way to the place and also helped to negotiate the prices. Since I had already removed the old carpets, making news ones by using the patterns was a relatively simple job for the experienced fundis. After choosing the desired material (really thick but stilll flexible carpet for 800 Kshs./m), they rushed away to buy everything needed and after that immediately started working. Anyone who says things in Kenya are slow should pay these guys a visit.

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taking measurements…

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A matatu had ordered a new interior…

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1,2,3….done!

While waiting for the carpets to be finished, other guys (of course) approached us and offered their services. “My friend” (the typical mzungu approach), “you need licence plates duplicating? For front and back licence plate me I just charge you…..uhmm….500 Kshs. ..and I will make them straight and recolour them, even with reflecting colour, and put something around them and make them look nice. Look, yours are worn out…” – “Yeah, well, but you see: mine can still work – isn’t it? Even I could only give you 50 bob per plate…” – “Oh, but please, my friend, help me to buy lunch….” – “Oh, I think maybe next time but thx anyways…”

One of these guys actually managed to persuade us to have the car repainted from the inside. We urgently wanted to have this done, actually also from the outside – the car needs a major “beautification programme” – but time was running out and money is always limited so we just went for the inside repaint job. Pull out a 1.000 Kshs. and these guys will actually dismantle the interior of your car, clean it (more or less), respray it (= > hire a painter for that particular job!) and put everything back into place. Unfortunately, these guys weren’t as fast as the carpet dudes – whereas the carpets were done within 2 hours (!), the guy responsible for the repainting job just talked in Agwambo-style and gave commands to his colleague who was supposed to do the job. Since we also had other appointments on this very special saturday :-), I put on my own overall and pulled out the screwdrivers and spanners. Imagine a foreigner somewhere in Nairobi’s River Road area jua kali workshops in an overall who actually works on a car whereas the Kenyan customers just stand next to their cars and give commands to the fundis. There’s always a way to make fun of yourself. But so what…

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Yess….sloooooooow work :-)

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Look! Even (Germany’s Ex-Chancellor) G.Schröder witnessed the beautification process! :-)

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Harambee! Some cars are just moved from A to B to C and back to A….

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Compressors such as this one (left) are used for repainting jobs – these guys are specialised.

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mixing the colour…

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After finishing his job, he carefully made sure that not a single drop of petrol was left inside the (rented) compressor motor’s tank – but forgot the empty (metal) paint container. He just left it there – I SO much hate this attitude of disposing waste just like that. There’s no concept. Our industrialized world is nothing but a huge landfill….aaaaargh!

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Sawasawa, ama? After 20 minutes of drying, the carpets came…

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Fixing the carpet….

We arrived at 10:30 am and left the place at ~ 03:30 pm. Not bad for a start. And I know we’ll be back for more…

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These are lockers as used by the (older) fundis. The’ve put their mobile phone numbers on them so that they can be reached in any case. The mobile phone industry has opened up so many different opportunities in Kenya…an interesting development, I think.

AOB:

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Who’s this DJ @ Club Soundd? Horriboool mixture sato nite… the place is nice though. Also home to Kwani? open mic sessions…and no nasty cigarette smoke!! :-)

the soil

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Bata – she shoes sandoools that say you know Africa have made the mistake of using them during the rainy season (I wore them in May this year and washed them about 3x with Omo “Powerfoam”). I prefer the cheaper ones anyways (red and blue type).