Tribune

While boarding the Embu-bound Matatu last night, my attention was caught by a weekly “newspaper” (magazine) that sells for Ksh. 10: Tribune.

06-11014b

Tribune – For the full information.

The story that caught me of course was the “sexual advise” inside. After all, politics and sex/love stories are almost the same thing: nothing but many words and many lies.

Says it here on page 3:

“Dating: 7 Things Men Don’t Want To Hear From Women

1.I’ve been thinking….
If she actually tells you she’s been thinking, it’s serious. And you can bet it involves marriage, cohibition or the bitter end. It can take many forms, such as “Why do you love me?” and “Have you ever thought about the future?”. Again, have a brilliant exit plan at hand. A severed finger, for instance

4. I have a headache…
That means no action for you tonight, buddy. But you can beat her to it (!!!!!!!). If you sense she’s particularly tired when you’re honey, give her an unsolicited aspirin and hope for the best.”

Aterere….dear Kenyan brothers-in-fate, don’t tell me your women are just as bad as ours. LOL! Oh my …..

That paper is full of such “women better don’t read this” stuff. 10 bob….I could have spent on buying 2 packs of peanuts instead. Yeah…

p.s.: Do you know how it smells when cooks burn goat skin? No? Ok, come to Embu and visit me. And pls bring some Ohropax – I live next to a nightclub and its kitchen.

the deal

“The leaders, who are fatigued by the big brother style of the West, will likely turn willingly to China’s generosity.” (source)

&

“China is expected to become Africa’s third most important trading partner, behind the US and France and ahead of the UK.” (JC Servant @ LeMonde diplomatique in 2005)

Allmost all imported goods in Embu are “Made in China”. Except for the sweets – those are from India.

How to…visually convince….

…the municipal council of Embu to open its eyes and start using public funds for public benefit:

embucouncil

There is this really muddy road next to Mama Ngina Street in Embu which could just use a simple drainage ditch system to remove these articifial lakes on the middle of the road. After all, the road leads to other GoK plots and even a school. And everyone (including me) is forced to wade through this muddy **** every day.

Ok. Let’s do this deal. If they can’t make it within the next two weeks, we’ll start a Harambee at the office and hire a jobless farmer to do the job. Sawa?

p.s.: this is a wonderful example to demonstrate the meaning of the often used (kenyan?) phrase “they are supposed to…”.

RIONBAI?

I came home at 10.30 pm, listened to the daily dose of wisdom by my dear friend Njuguna from Ruaka and switched on his tv to see Martha K. answer nasty questions on corruption issues. Martha sure is someone you wouldn’t want to mess with. I somehow like her though.

Being scared off her P.Muiteesque eyes (same scary eyebooools) and very clear line of reasoning against any allegations, we switched channels and tuned into KBC which presented us with this:

03
(sorry for the poor sreenshot – I took this occasion to try out my new analog/digital tv pcmcia/pc card and still haven’t found a proper antenna)

One of these typical “dial in” shows where people are supposed to solve very difficult riddles and waste a lot of money on telephone charges. In other words: whoever calls the displayed number will most likely waste his hard earned money.

The other annoying side of it is that the presenters in these shows have no other job but to keep on animating people to pick up the phone and dial that number. Which means that they keep on talking BS and make a fool out of themselves. I wonder how this show is accepted among the public. Do they like it?

You know, in Germany there are about 5 to 7 tv channels at the moment who show such programms starting from around 10 pm every night until morning hours. Some of these presenters even strip naked (breasts) to attract (male) viewers – which of course is very embarrassing in front of those visitors that come from (much) more restriced countries.

geil3
(a screenshot from DSF – sports channel on German tv earlier this year)

Yeah…that’s our world in 2006….

Fellow blogger Majonzi asked me about a possible culture shock in rural Embu. I never expected any luxury in Embu and will of course have to adopt to the rural lifestyle (although of course the place I am staying is still very much urban).
WHAT shocks me though is this KBC programme that doesn’t differ in any ways from what they showing to the masses over in Europe. Same stupidity and tacky way of luring dumb viewers in spending their hard earned money on unsuccesful phone calls.

HAPPY KENYATTA DAY!

? Who let the dogs out…

secret100606_01.jpg

With stories like these, there’s no need for any further entertainment….

EDIT: what exactly do I have to do to get an “All Areas Access Pass” for JKIA?
~ organize some WorldCup tickets for a KAA chief?

What really pisses me off about these two “brothers” is that with their studid russian mafia BlingBling attitude they just add to this typical conception a lot of ppl have in Kenya that Mzungu = Pesa — something which most of you know to be untrue.
Imagine what it feels like when you’re approached on a daily basis and asked for money just becos you are white. Prejudices? Sure…

the marketing pool

While googling for the keyword “Eldoret” (a fast inet connection and random keywords make up for perfect time-wasters which of course are always prefered to work which would actually put some food on the table..), I once again realized how many different ngo projects are done in Kenya.

I am SURE many of you can instantly name a few initiatives and NGOs that are dealing with water, energy, health, general environmental issues, IT, social work, etc etc and there sure are many we have never even heard of.
On the other hand, there are many qualified, jobless young Kenyans dying to get a decent job if only they knew where to apply.

To make it short: is there any website or office in Kenya that tries to a) lobby the NGO’s work and b) tries to get all NGOs to round table talks (as a problem seems to be that many NGOs differ in political orientations, funding and other strange variables).

As a start, I am thinking of using a free Wiki software to at least document all NGOs willing to publish their work on a single website. The idea of such an informative website is to get an overview of what has been implemented so far, what kind of policy the GoK has on certain matters, the people’s view and the typical approach strategy NGOs use to get their messages conveyed.
A website that sums up ALL different opinions and gives the public an overview (at least) of how they can be involved. You know, there are active forums like Mashada & Co, or even the vivid kenyan blogosphere, where ppl communicate on a daily basis. Why shouldn’t this be possible on a matter of national interest?

Natujenge taifa letu
Ee ndio wajibu wetu
Kenya istahili heshima
Tuungane mikono pamoja kazini
Kila siku tuwe nashukrani.

Only words?

I found this website that tries to do cover the above mentioned idea – however, did YOU know it?