While boarding the Embu-bound Matatu last night, my attention was caught by a weekly “newspaper” (magazine) that sells for Ksh. 10: Tribune.


Tribune – For the full information.

The story that caught me of course was the “sexual advise” inside. After all, politics and sex/love stories are almost the same thing: nothing but many words and many lies.

Says it here on page 3:

“Dating: 7 Things Men Don’t Want To Hear From Women

1.I’ve been thinking….
If she actually tells you she’s been thinking, it’s serious. And you can bet it involves marriage, cohibition or the bitter end. It can take many forms, such as “Why do you love me?” and “Have you ever thought about the future?”. Again, have a brilliant exit plan at hand. A severed finger, for instance

4. I have a headache…
That means no action for you tonight, buddy. But you can beat her to it (!!!!!!!). If you sense she’s particularly tired when you’re honey, give her an unsolicited aspirin and hope for the best.”

Aterere….dear Kenyan brothers-in-fate, don’t tell me your women are just as bad as ours. LOL! Oh my …..

That paper is full of such “women better don’t read this” stuff. 10 bob….I could have spent on buying 2 packs of peanuts instead. Yeah…

p.s.: Do you know how it smells when cooks burn goat skin? No? Ok, come to Embu and visit me. And pls bring some Ohropax – I live next to a nightclub and its kitchen.

Author: jke

Hi, I am an engineer who freelances in water & sanitation-related IT projects at You'll also find me on Twitter @jke and Instagram.

One thought on “Tribune”

  1. ha! i know that smell! hard to forget once you have been around it for a while but you get used to it, ama?

    those gutter papers were handy when standing in those long lines at bus station.

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