da rulez

In a place, where only a very small minority of the population have access to piped water, where the accumulation of material wealth as the main goal has always been part of the cultural heritage, where honesty doesn’t pay, where a man with a Mercdes has more influence than an honourable figure who only scores with an academic degree, and where the educational system lacks any creativity and proper funding, the following rules seem to be appropriate for males:

  • drink as much and as often as possible
  • eat as much as possible
  • feel free to combine the drinking prrroceedja with errraborated discussions on various topics
  • manage to con fellow citizen into bogus deals in order to gain some extra income
  • win a Porsche
  • seriousrry think about starting a porrriiticaarrr carrrriiaah
  • look for opportunities to get laid
  • avoid shaggz by any means except for when you’re completly broke or have managed to share something small with your brothers
  • if in a public job, never mess with the Mama that delivers the morning tea and make sure to have a fresh copy of your favourite newspaper on your desk every day in order to look busy
  • manage to organize some free beers
  • have an opinion on everything but try to avoid any involvment into public affairs
  • look for a crown or a kingdom a.k.a. wife, children, house, car and nearby pub
  • go to church every sunday to hide your true image and take it as a perfect opportunity to look for beauties
  • manage to be in city centre where the action is and be on the spot whenever something interesting happens.
  • know the places where they serve good, fresh, delicious and cheap chicken for lunch
  • if jobless, look for a wealthy politician that needs protection and offer bodyguard services
  • watch US american hip hop videos and learn to copy the bling-bling style
  • look for a cool place in the shadow where you can rest during the extended lunch hours
  • with appropiate anatomic conditions, think about applying as an Office Linebacker
  • tbc…

Posted by

Hi, I am an engineer who freelances in water & sanitation-related IT projects at Saniblog.org. You'll also find me on Twitter @jke and Instagram.

4 comments » Write a comment