UN s‑g to release masterplan on tuesday

Sto­ry by KBW correspondent
Publi­ca­ti­on Date: 2007/04/01

Ban Ki-Sun, Secreta­ry-Gene­ral of the United Nerds, today men­tio­ned on his blog that he is about to release a mas­ter­plan on tues­day that will save the world.

Mr Ban Ki-Sun, who was elec­ted Secreta­ry-Gene­ral of the United Nerds on Janu­a­ry 1 this year, wro­te that he and his team had “in the past worked on an inter­na­tio­nal mas­ter­plan that will save the world from all evil and bring hap­pi­ness, love and cha­ri­ty to man­kind”.

Also, he argues that “unli­ke other plans in the past, this one has been crea­ted through the use of Web 2.0 tech­no­lo­gies such as Goog­le Docs & Spreads­heet and lots of input by other blog­gers around the world, thus ensu­ring owners­hip, sta­bi­li­ty, rele­van­ce and popu­la­ri­ty of the desi­red tar­gets throughout the world”.

And he goes on: “We will the­re­fo­re be deligh­ted to pre­sent to the world, a uni­ver­sal mas­ter­plan, which will not only bring an ending to the ongo­ing wars in the Sudan and other con­flict are­as, but also ensu­re that broad­band inter­net is made avail­ab­le to all are­as of the world. This is based on the fact that a fast and broad­band inter­net con­nec­ti­vi­ty ensu­res peace, love and unity around the world as ever­yo­ne will be busy sur­fing the net, chat­ting with others and/or down­loading digi­tal data. Also, any war­li­ke acti­vi­ties by users may in future be limi­ted to vir­tu­al worlds such as Second Life or World of War­craft, the lat­ter being the worl­d’s most “mas­si­ve mul­ti­play­er online role-play­ing game” (MMORPG).”

Rumours on the inter­net also reve­al that this will inclu­de the employ­ment of tech­ni­cal staff world­wi­de to ensu­re the imple­men­ta­ti­on of this ambi­tious plan in future. Right now, sol­di­ers by the North Atlan­tic Ter­ror Orga­niz­a­ti­on (NATO) have alrea­dy been asked to attend IT cour­ses and take extra clas­ses on media­ti­on and DIY inter­net pro­jects. For instance, the NATO approach is based on Geek­corps, an inter­na­tio­nal orga­niz­a­ti­on by tech­no­lo­gy experts.

As a side effect, this will also help redu­ce the hea­vi­ly over­paid staff at the United Nerds and its pro­gramms who in the past has­n’t pro­du­ced any working mas­ter­plans. Mr Ban Ki-sun has in the past often reli­ed on unpaid interns who are known for mana­ging all back­of­fice jobs in UN offices world-wide.

The inter­net is a world-wide net­work of com­pu­ters, and web­logs are user-gene­ra­ted con­tents in a dia­ry form that have come to sub­sti­tu­te the prin­ted press in the 20th cen­tu­ry.

AOB: Toco­tro­nic “An einem Diens­tag im April” (oder: wie wir anfin­gen, die Welt anhand von Toco­tro­nic Song­ti­teln zu beschreiben).

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