UN s-g to release masterplan on tuesday

Story by KBW correspondent
Publication Date: 2007/04/01

Ban Ki-Sun, Secretary-General of the United Nerds, today mentioned on his blog that he is about to release a masterplan on tuesday that will save the world.

Mr Ban Ki-Sun, who was elected Secretary-General of the United Nerds on January 1 this year, wrote that he and his team had “in the past worked on an international masterplan that will save the world from all evil and bring happiness, love and charity to mankind”.

Also, he argues that “unlike other plans in the past, this one has been created through the use of Web 2.0 technologies such as Google Docs & Spreadsheet and lots of input by other bloggers around the world, thus ensuring ownership, stability, relevance and popularity of the desired targets throughout the world”.

And he goes on: “We will therefore be delighted to present to the world, a universal masterplan, which will not only bring an ending to the ongoing wars in the Sudan and other conflict areas, but also ensure that broadband internet is made available to all areas of the world. This is based on the fact that a fast and broadband internet connectivity ensures peace, love and unity around the world as everyone will be busy surfing the net, chatting with others and/or downloading digital data. Also, any warlike activities by users may in future be limited to virtual worlds such as Second Life or World of Warcraft, the latter being the world’s most “massive multiplayer online role-playing game” (MMORPG).”

Rumours on the internet also reveal that this will include the employment of technical staff worldwide to ensure the implementation of this ambitious plan in future. Right now, soldiers by the North Atlantic Terror Organization (NATO) have already been asked to attend IT courses and take extra classes on mediation and DIY internet projects. For instance, the NATO approach is based on Geekcorps, an international organization by technology experts.

As a side effect, this will also help reduce the heavily overpaid staff at the United Nerds and its programms who in the past hasn’t produced any working masterplans. Mr Ban Ki-sun has in the past often relied on unpaid interns who are known for managing all backoffice jobs in UN offices world-wide.

The internet is a world-wide network of computers, and weblogs are user-generated contents in a diary form that have come to substitute the printed press in the 20th century.

AOB: Tocotronic “An einem Dienstag im April” (oder: wie wir anfingen, die Welt anhand von Tocotronic Songtiteln zu beschreiben).

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