Last night my Safaricom air time finished and I still needed to do some things online. So I went over to the bar / night club next door here at Mugo Shopping Complex and….had the laugh of my life:
Grown up men, all drunken beyond this particular state when you would want them to meet their wife’s rolling pin (think of WM’s Thatcher character & u get the picture) were dancing to obscene Mughithi songs and the whole scenery looked so funny. Just like we know these dudes with their big Dorry Parrtonn hats and the pick-up parked outside.
Upon seeing me, one of the men pulled out his mobile phone and begged for a beer. “Look my mfriend”, he said while smelling like he had taken a longer bath in Changaa, “I mhave mtwo mshistassh in USA and Gaamany”. “Oh?”, I replied, “…alafu?”. He then showed me their telephone numbers and tried to impress me with that. “Yes my ffrrrriend, schoo juu mmbuyy mrree a mbiiiaaar?”.
Kirimu gitindagia andu njira – the fool makes other people stop on the road.
After telling him this (my favourite :-) proverb, he quickly disappeared.
And then I spotted this jamaa from Ujerumani sitting in front of his Tusker and grinning like Jack Nicholson in “the shining”. Now that’s another extreme: he arrived in Nairobi three weeks ago, took a Matatu upcountry and ended up in Embu. His plans actually included going to Mombasa, but then….he just stayed here. He told me about his job in Germany – a lorry driver who once studied political sciences but then skipped that university life for the real world out there. He isn’t rich and saved his last mbeca just to enjoy a few weeks of Tusker, Nyama Choma and hanging in boring places. Alone. Just one of those easy-going guys you can unload at any bar in the world – all he needs are a few beers, a packet of Sportsman cigarettes and someone to talk to. Nice.
You are standing there, looking at all these strange characters and thinking to yourself: Kenya believe it? Just like in a movie…
I am going to miss this place. *sigh*