Embu nightlife

Last night my Safaricom air time finished and I still needed to do some things online. So I went over to the bar / night club next door here at Mugo Shopping Complex and….had the laugh of my life:

Grown up men, all drunken beyond this particular state when you would want them to meet their wife’s rolling pin (think of WM’s Thatcher character & u get the picture) were dancing to obscene Mughithi songs and the whole scenery looked so funny. Just like we know these dudes with their big Dorry Parrtonn hats and the pick-up parked outside.
Upon seeing me, one of the men pulled out his mobile phone and begged for a beer. “Look my mfriend”, he said while smelling like he had taken a longer bath in Changaa, “I mhave mtwo mshistassh in USA and Gaamany”. “Oh?”, I replied, “…alafu?”. He then showed me their telephone numbers and tried to impress me with that. “Yes my ffrrrriend, schoo juu mmbuyy mrree a mbiiiaaar?”.

Kirimu gitindagia andu njira – the fool makes other people stop on the road.

After telling him this (my favourite :-) proverb, he quickly disappeared.

And then I spotted this jamaa from Ujerumani sitting in front of his Tusker and grinning like Jack Nicholson in “the shining”. Now that’s another extreme: he arrived in Nairobi three weeks ago, took a Matatu upcountry and ended up in Embu. His plans actually included going to Mombasa, but then….he just stayed here. He told me about his job in Germany – a lorry driver who once studied political sciences but then skipped that university life for the real world out there. He isn’t rich and saved his last mbeca just to enjoy a few weeks of Tusker, Nyama Choma and hanging in boring places. Alone. Just one of those easy-going guys you can unload at any bar in the world – all he needs are a few beers, a packet of Sportsman cigarettes and someone to talk to. Nice.

You are standing there, looking at all these strange characters and thinking to yourself: Kenya believe it? Just like in a movie…

I am going to miss this place. *sigh*

Author: jke

Hi, I am an engineer who freelances in water & sanitation-related IT projects at Saniblog.org. You'll also find me on Twitter @jke and Instagram.

8 thoughts on “Embu nightlife”

  1. “And then I spotted this jamaa from Ujerumani sitting in front of his Tusker and grinning like Jack Nicholson in “the shining”. ROFL…:-)))
    Who knew Embu has such fascinating characters …. Lol I bet you shall miss the place

  2. Embu is a nice town and yes, Kenya has its own set of characters who can do a sequel to ‘the shining’, with some scenes being shot in that Mombasa hotel….

  3. I have read all your posts but have never posted a comment. I have enjoyed reading your entries …you KEEP IT SO REAL and most of all you understand kenya and thats what we need is more people who hang around the mwananchi so they can understand and relate with him better…just wanted to say GREAT POSTS … your grasp of the language is very impressive — Have a good one wherever your travels take you and keep posting!!!

  4. yup, just reiterating what all these guys have said!personally, youve given me hope.I like the way you’ve gotten to know peopleand the culture as well. it always irked me that many people that came to Kenya from the west just kept to themselves. youre different.thanks. and i hope you’ll continue being a blessing wherever you go.

  5. Oh how I wish I had gotten to your posts earlier they are hillarious and all so true about Embu, Makes me laugh its home for me and if you cannot laugh at yourself you should not laugh at others.
    Welcome again to Embu

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