Kîrimû nî ta mwatû

Sin­ce the­re seem to be some vacan­ci­es in Ken­ya’s poli­ti­cal sce­ne, I’ve alrea­dy writ­ten a short mes­sa­ge to my gol­fing bud­dy Mwai and told him to assist me with this mat­ter I’m having: 

I am a ger­man citi­zen, yani, poli­tics here don’t pay. Over here, I would never get a nice Paje­ro, no tax­payer would cover my mobi­le bills nor would I be ever be asked IF I would like to buy a pie­ce of land some­whe­re in EAK. You see, I’ve alrea­dy asked ali­aR for some advice (hey, he’s flu­ent in Ger­man!) but he just replied that I’d have to beco­me even more oran­ge and… Uhu­ru? Well, you know, he’s a bit pis­sed at me sin­ce I sto­le his domain name. So any­ways, I thought about beco­m­ing a Ken­y­an citi­zen and app­ly­ing for a Minis­try. Kwa­ni I am a very fore­sigh­ted per­son, I alrea­dy came up with this bril­li­ant plan: Kenya needs a Minis­try for Licences. 

Have you ever tried to do some­thing in Kenya without a valid licence/permit/letter of approval?

The­re you have it. And I am the solu­ti­on. I am her­eby app­ly­ing for the ulti­ma­te posi­ti­on as Minis­ter for Licen­ces et al. All tho­se Nyayo House paper works, all tho­se things rela­ted to how-to-make-chai and this spe­cial thing when you’­re app­ly­ing a stamp or seal on an offi­cal paper. Awww.… a nice feeling.

Mwai, what are you wai­t­ing for? Kîri­mû kîhi­tha­ga rwem­bea-inî rwa nyûm­ba kîûî gîti­kuon­wo.

P.S.: for­get the Paje­ro, I’ll just be fine with a Sub­a­ru Lega­cy. Yes, tho­se new ones. No, without a dri­ver. Thx! 

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