Category: burudani

funny :-)

Mieren neuken.

Mieren neuken.

* Literal Translation: “Engaging in sex with ants.”
* Meaning: “Being obsessed with details.”
* English equivalent: “Splitting hairs.”

Perhaps one of the reasons I fell in love with the Netherlands the other day. :-)

where is my water, dude?

My, oh my…so I opened the website of The Standard, and came across this animated gif, which leads us to the Website of the “Office of Public Communications“.

Oh? A photo gallery? Lemme see….*click*…. :

majijimmy

“President Kibaki launching a completed water project.”

Please: with cheap questions such as “What has Kibaki done with your money?” (as shown on that animated gif!), I’d at least also expect the same sort of populism on the sample images as shown on the public communications website. You are talking about water? Then show us the water. Simpoool…

I don’t know who’s responsible for this publicity, but when it comes to politics, my own experience is that Kenyans aren’t that dumb to see WHAT Kibaki, as a person, and the NARC government has brought upon Kenyans in the past.

And I think by now everyone interested has understood so far that the “Baba Moi” era is over, and that change doesn’t entirely depend on a single person in power. So how come they are refocusing it back on a single person? Because of Raila? LOL..

aahh?

pornmyblog

Pr0n, baby! YEAH! :-))

And I’ve already been wondering what this “xxx”-signature in short messages actually means (“I’ll meet you at the museum – xxx, Wambui :-)”).

angry mob kills hackers

Story by KBW correspondent
Publication date: Feb 28th, 2007

Alleged hackers from Gachie, Kiambu were today killed by an angry mob after they were found guilty of cheating customers on the installation of the new computer operating system Microsoft Windows Vista.

The alleged hackers apparently tried to install the free and open-source Ubuntu operating system from South Africa on their customer’s computers, telling them it would be the new Windows Vista operating system.

The bogus deal only became public when customers complained about the cheap installation costs: the killed hackers only charged Ksh. 400 for a copy of the fake “Windows Vista” operating system, which was in fact a copy of Ubuntu. Ubuntu Linux is available free of charge from the internet. The internet is a worldwide network of computers.

The police which arrived 2hrs late because of missing transport could only rescue the dead bodies of the alleged hackers. Anonymous sources told our paper that the Ubuntu OS actually performs better than the new Windows Vista which requires a faster computer and in most cases new hardware.

However, one angry customer, a Mr. Boniface Njoroge told us: “I invested Ksh. 400/= and all wot these piiporr have given me is a copy of a cheap operrating system which is not the orriginol dearr! These piipol have been chiiting castamaaahs on a grand scarr! Arr we have done now it is to protect fellow wanachi from faathaa exploitation by these thugs!”.

Meanwhile, the government today in cooperation with Microsoft Corporation declared Kenya being a Windows Vista nation. This comes one day after Microsoft donated the sum of US-$ 100.000 through the Bill Gates Foundation to HIV/AIDS awareness projects countrywide…

[via treehugger]

Embu nightlife

Last night my Safaricom air time finished and I still needed to do some things online. So I went over to the bar / night club next door here at Mugo Shopping Complex and….had the laugh of my life:

Grown up men, all drunken beyond this particular state when you would want them to meet their wife’s rolling pin (think of WM’s Thatcher character & u get the picture) were dancing to obscene Mughithi songs and the whole scenery looked so funny. Just like we know these dudes with their big Dorry Parrtonn hats and the pick-up parked outside.
Upon seeing me, one of the men pulled out his mobile phone and begged for a beer. “Look my mfriend”, he said while smelling like he had taken a longer bath in Changaa, “I mhave mtwo mshistassh in USA and Gaamany”. “Oh?”, I replied, “…alafu?”. He then showed me their telephone numbers and tried to impress me with that. “Yes my ffrrrriend, schoo juu mmbuyy mrree a mbiiiaaar?”.

Kirimu gitindagia andu njira – the fool makes other people stop on the road.

After telling him this (my favourite :-) proverb, he quickly disappeared.

And then I spotted this jamaa from Ujerumani sitting in front of his Tusker and grinning like Jack Nicholson in “the shining”. Now that’s another extreme: he arrived in Nairobi three weeks ago, took a Matatu upcountry and ended up in Embu. His plans actually included going to Mombasa, but then….he just stayed here. He told me about his job in Germany – a lorry driver who once studied political sciences but then skipped that university life for the real world out there. He isn’t rich and saved his last mbeca just to enjoy a few weeks of Tusker, Nyama Choma and hanging in boring places. Alone. Just one of those easy-going guys you can unload at any bar in the world – all he needs are a few beers, a packet of Sportsman cigarettes and someone to talk to. Nice.

You are standing there, looking at all these strange characters and thinking to yourself: Kenya believe it? Just like in a movie…

I am going to miss this place. *sigh*