Diaa Laediis aend Gaentlemaaehn,
wance agaein vee will haeff demokratikk i-laektions hier in ze Federrrrlll Riipabliik of Germoney. Tomorrow ivining vee will noo äbaut the politikael fiutiuar of zis kantrii.
Oll kandidaetes haeff priipaered themselfs aend traid to maeik ae guut impression on ze elektoraete diuring ze past fiew wiiks. Herr Schroeder of ze soccer demokrazy part-tii of Germoney (SPD) oar Frau Merkel of ze corrupt demon union (CDU) arr ze maeidscho kann-di-daets aend wan off zem will biikam ze naext Kaencellor of zis kantrii. Ze positiff saait ii-ffect of oll zis is zat ze piipol hier duu toalk aebaut politiks aegaehn…aend naow Ei dii-arrly hohp zaht zis will laahst waei biiyondt ze i-laektions.
Germoney is amangg ze riichaeeeest kantriis in zee woerrld and vee haeff ooooll ze laxiu-arii zaht wan kan aaskh foar. Foar instaens, vee haeff no haarii-kaens, no earrrthquaeks, no assar naturrlll dii-sastsrrss (aekzept maeibii zee stiupitt miusikk zei arr konstantlii pleeing oon ze reedioo) aend zee moost imporrtantt positiff a-dschiievement of coarrrse is piiiice in Uropp. Yess! No waarrrs in Germoney foar 60 yearrs naow aend vee duu not wont to bi inwolft in assa warrs arrround the woerrld iwaen if Frau Merkel ssaed samsing diffaer-rent ze assar daei whaen shii woas in Woashing-ton, wiisiiting ze liida of „ze guut saitt“, Mista Schoorsch DabbelJuh Busch.
Onn zee assar haend off coarse, vee haeff samsing laik 5 tuu 7 million jobb-laess piipol in dis kantrii aend vee will niid to tschaeiinsch zis suun! Oll piipol will niid tuu haeff woerk and haeff an in-kam!
So, ouar politischaans toalk aebaout zis oll zee taim aend of coarse zei arr toalking aebaout hau zei will fai-naehnce all zis in fiutua. Aend, diaa laediis aend gaentlemaaehn, wot Ei miss aebaout zhos diss-kussions oll zeh taim arr politischians zaht stand ap aend askk forr zeh weii vee oll wont tuu liff togessa in fiutua. Forr mii, it iss moar ae queschtion off haow vee wont tuu liff togessa aeees aee so-sai-i-ty wiss laff forr iidsch assar zaehn aee queschtion off fai-naehncing oll zis aess zer is olwaysss ae weii off gaetting zings danne if vee riily wont tuu. Maanii is not aevryzing aend not aet ze koar off ze hool debaete, bat jast aen instrument. Vee mast not luuk aet zee badgaet oll zee taim, bat instaed fookuss on iss-schuus laik haeltzz, faemil-lii aend aedukaetion polisi aend mark zhos eitems aes ze maein adgenda. Rait naow zhei arr duuing it zee assar waii raund. Aend, aess Ei maehn-tschiont oeerrliaar, Ei riily hoohp zaht zeh demokrazik aen-thu-ssi-assm naow dass nott endt wis zee i-laektions aend zehm piipol puht-ting zeihr kross aett zeh dii-saiarrd parrrti.
Iii-sa weii, iff aefrising biikoms woerrrss, vee will still bii eebll tuu goo aend haeff oua MASS aett ze Miinchna Oktoberrrfest. O’zapft is! 
