A few years ago, I used to write longer e-mails. Some recipients would appreciate it, others probably didn’t – but only my sister had the guts to directly tell me: “I don’t have the time to read your novels”.

She, being a lawyer by profession, likes it short and precise. Why waste more words on a story if you can say it with a few words?

Twitter taught me a similar approach – 140 characters may be enough for some basic messages and thr r sm hu hv lrnt hw 2 abbrev. cntnt 2 fit in2 a msg.

And this isn’t even about the length of messages, but rather about how 2 keep things short – and thus interesting?

I’ve experienced this myself while replying to customers or else writing to those who are known for receiving lots of e-mails per day. The moment I started keeping it very short, they instantly replied. This especially works with überwomen who like to handle their job, the kids na kadhalika at once. Another great way to receive a reply from such a person is to give her fixed options:

Am I prejudiced?

[ ] yes
[ ] no
[ ] maybe

Seriously, the shorter your question, the earlier you’ll receive an answer. Keep it short & simple.

Tell me, with the load of information out there in newspapers and your rss feed reader, which one do you actually read? The shorter ones? Would you just scan headlines and maybe also only read the teaser?

Am asking because my fiancée just told me that her 11-12 yrs old pupils in school do neither know the difference between China and Japan, nor that Tokyo (Metropolis) is the capital of Japan. “You can not expect them to know this”, she was told her by her boss. Which obviously changes all your plans while preparing lecturing material.

Kids do know a lot of other – sometimes useless – stuff these days. And what they don’t know, or what isn’t shown on TV or YouTube, will be searchable via Google. “Knowledge” as such has never been more accessible.

So…knowledge or information on one hand, and on the other hand the way we communicate. These very same kids have grown up with SMS, MMS, the telephone, video replies on YouTube, instant messsengers and collaborative Google documents.

Speed and instant communication matter these days, fame and/or followers, accessible knowledge 24/7/365, fast typing abilities, answers to questions. The journey way we communicate is the destination.

I am sure you’ve meanwhile all heard about Google Wave and how it will revolutionize the internet and the way we communicate. Well it may achieve this change, either now or within the next three years (see: Twitter breakthrough/acceptance in mainstream German media). But I keep on coming back to the initial question: is this the way we really want to communicate with each other? That is: typing short instant messages into our (mobile) devices and replying directly on point to a question.

A really good example for the attention deficit a lot of people are suffering from (I think it all started with MTV-styled cuts on tv) seems to be the Google Wave Developer Preview video which is over 80 minutes long. That’s 80 minutes of geeks talking about a new technology. Would you watch it?

Since 80 minutes are a damn long time for most presentations, there are various short versions of the Google Wave video available online that sum up all the differences between normal e-mail communication and the Google Wave approach.

Something similar applies to blog posts. With communication tools like Twitter all around, I feel that ppl not only minimize the time they’ve previously spent on blogs, but also stop reading those with longer blog posts. Not because their content isn’t that interesting – but a) because of other, competing online content (on the feed reader) and b) because it takes time to read all this stuff here.

What I am really afraid of and my reason for this blog post is that we will lose a feeling for the poetry between the lines and our ability to spend time on longer articles – just because communication as such is so much more different nowadays and somehow also unconsciously changes the way we read.

Could this scenario be true?

I recently had the chance of comparing the HP EliteBook 6930p with the Dell Latitude E6400, both 14,1″ business laptops (notebooks) for professional use.

more…

64 years, 2 months and 19 days after my father’s family was evicted from the ground floor of this building in Liberec, Czech Republic under a Russian influence, I took a chance and paid a visit to the house, the city and the (beautiful) surroundings. It now accommodates a Kindergarten and still has the same green colour it obtained when it was built in 1938.

My aunt informed me the other day that my grandfather had plans of buying this house, but later on dismissed them as he got transfered to another place & the war came in-between, but still – isn’t it interesting to know where your ancestors lived before and what they did for a living?

The irony and my reason for blogging this is: you can travel the world and fall in love with many places, but in the end you become engaged to someone whose family actually hails from the same small town that your family is from. Both their houses where just 400m away.

64 years, 2 months and 19 days later on, it’s just an ironic little detail that deserves a blogpost, I think.

I am waiting for the Nokia E72 (phone) since it was first mentioned about a year ago (!) and then officially announced in June (July?) this year. It’s a successor to the very popular Nokia E71 which I had reviewed back then and features a nifty 5mpx cmos camera and a keyboard similar to the one currently found on the Nokia E63.

One of the best ways for staying up-to-date on product launches is Twitter Search. I’m scanning Twitter for E72 related news for quite some time now and I can tell you that many ppl are desperately waiting for the E72 to hit the market. I heard it will be October 6th or 12th…

The Nokia E63 itself is a very nice phone – I actually prefer its keyboard over to the initial E71 and so I am really glad that the E72 will not only have such a similar keyboard, but also come with a camera that will be able to compete with the really decent 5mpx cam on my Nokia N95.

My N95 is 27 months old now and – compared to other phones I’ve owned in the past – a bit worn out. The other day I also dropped it on the floor and it fortunately still does the job, only a few scratches on the (exchangable) cover. Back then I urgently wanted to get my hands on the N95, only to quickly realize that it has a “prototype” design and comes with other flaws I’ve mentioned on this blog in the past. Another problem with buying brandnew phones is that a stable firmware (~ the operating system on the phone) will probably only be released after a year. This isn’t a Nokia-only problem though, others like Apple have experienced similar issues.

The interesting part on this next purchase will be the question if I should get it like my N95 – with a 24month contract and a subsidized phone – or directly buy it without a contract and paying the full price.

The pre-order price for the phone currently is around EUR 360 and I am expecting this to change over the next coming weeks. Also, I think the current trend is that less phones are being subsidized these days and that mobile network operators and their resellers started leasing out phones, so you end up paying a hefty monthly fee + ~ EUR 15 for the phone. You’ll still find many customers asking for “a free phone” from their operator every two years (the way it has been in the past), but it is actually cheaper to get a prepaid card & buy the phone (unless of course you’re on a flat fee contract and using the phone a lot). I don’t call that much, but often check my mail via the phone, so “cheap internet access” is my main issue. I also like the browser on the iPhone, but then: I guess I am too stupid for Apple’s Monoculture and Operating System. The iPhone may have a great browser (the greatest?), but a non-removable battery, a lousy camera and no taskmanager (or is there?) are a no-go for me. Plus it is still too expensive in Europe.

I really can’t wait to get my hands on my own Nokia E72 because it will eventually enable me to return to the monoblock design. The 2-way sliders on the N95 are *interesting* but absolutely useless and it’s about time for me to upgrade from a T9 keypad to a full QWERTY (QWERTZ) keyboard.

The 2 best reviews so far are the one by Antoine of AllAboutSymbian AllAboutNokia (part 1,2,3,4,5 and his verdict) and Eldar’s piece on Mobile Review. These two reviews are also reason enough why I just want to own the phone and won’t do a review on it once it’s here.. :-)

OH, and it HAS A FLASHLIGHT!

Turnout of voters during the recent elections in Germany. (source)

Map of Federal German States in 1957. Blue = West, Red = East
(source)

Harambee, harambee, tuimbe pamoja… yeah, right. WTF.

[via]

I assume that about 99% of all knives and pangas sold in Kenya are Made in China. The remaining 1% are probably imported kitchen knives and/or multitools from the US and Europe.

Everyone who owns a knife probably knows that a dull/blunt knife is almost useless, so there’s a knife sharpening service available in most places like this one we’ve featured over at AfriGadget some time ago.

I also bought one of these rotating grinding stones from Uchumi (ex-supermarket chain in Kenya) many years ago (for Kshs. 265/=, actually) and have also been tempted to get one of these huge sharpening stones / hones for kitchen knives which also sold for something like 70 bob back in the days (they are much more expensive in Europe, btw – even though they are all Made in China). Sharpening a panga (machete) with a rotating grinding stone is “ok” – for kitchen knives the flat grinding stone (~ hone) is the better (and often only) alternative as you want to keep the angle of the edge.

This edge angle actually is the most important part on a knife, I think, at least when it comes to its sharpness.

Cheap and lazy as I am, I have in the past only used sharpening stones and other – cheap – sharpening tools that MAY work for the ordinary kitchen knife, but should NEVER be used on a hunting knife, or – in my case – a multitool.

Arkansas oil-stone

Just in case you didn’t know: the sharpening process itself is a peculiar task on which you’ll find various – dedicated – websites and forums that solely talk about how to best sharpen a knife. As far as I know, using a sharpening stone (with water or oil, sometimes also some polishing paste) is the best way to sharpen a knife. This, however, requires some basic knowledge on steel, how knives are usually made, what kind of steel was used on your knife and how this steel will behave under higher temperatures. Those Japanese kitchen knives (we have one at home from back in the days) for example are very sensitive to higher temperatures above ~ 160°C (of course, again, depending on the steel mixture it is made of), so you absolutely have to make sure the hone is cooled down and soaked in water anyways. The majority of all other knives in our kitchen are Made in Germany, which means they are not as sensitive as the Japanese kitchen knives and also keep their sharpness to some extent. They aren’t as cheaply made as the ones from China as I am yet to see a decent knife from China. My sister actually gave me a set of 5 really good kitchen knives from Zwilling, Germany, as a present during last christmas, and I have to admit that cooking really is a joy with these new knives. Good tools are a blessing!

As mentioned, I am a Multitool guy. I have four Leatherman multitools (the Wave I, Wave II, Charge TTi and a small Squirt P4). You won’t buy these tools for their knives because, well, the steel used on their blades isn’t that great (except for the Charge TTi which comes with an S30V blade).

The blade on my Wave II lasted about four years until it became too dull. Stupid and unknowing as I am, I of course only tried the usual tools (Victorinox Sharpening Pen = horrible, knife sharpener from the kitchen, Arkansas sharpening stone) – thereby killing the edge angle on the knife.

Left with an unability to really sharpen my multitool to a decent level, I brought it to a “professional” shop – a very popular gun & knives shop in Frankfurt downtown. For some unknown reasons, these jerks completely fucked it up, killing the edge angle even more and returning a somehow sharp knife that looked like being sharpened on a high speed sharpening wheel. That’s exactly what I had tried to avoid on my Multitool, so I backed off and told myself: Argh….maybe next time. This was half a year ago.

Ok, so I may be too German on this, but there’s this moment when things just have to be perfect. You either do it right or never. So I ended up buying this GATCO Edgemate Professional Knife Sharpening System for a hefty EUR 47.95 today any idiot like me can use to regain the much needed edge angle on a blade. The guiding rods attached to the hones are inserted into the holes on the clamp and will then glide over the edge at a constant angle. Sounds too complicated? Here’s a video on it…

And you know what? These four different hones on a guidance rod just work and allow you to set an edge angle of 11°, 15°, 19°, 22°, 25° and 30°. There also is a fifth rod for serrated knives – my multitool also has a serrated blade. I’ve been able to restore the angle on my multitool and also sharpened a really dull kitchen knife with great success. I understand that this set isn’t meant to deliver razor blade sharpness (which would probably require another hone with even finer grit and/or paste and some leather) but for everything else – and especially for hunting knives – this set is the best idiot-proof choice. Something like EUR 50 are a lot of money just for sharpening a knife, but I believe that it is well invested money that will enable me to enjoy sharp knives and send all other useless sharpening devices into early retirement.

The blade on my Wave II during the sharpening process. The – still rough – 25° edge angle is already visible (all pics taken with a Nokia N95, btw).

UPDATE: I just received a call by the main Leatherman dealer/importer in Germany who asked about the knife on my Wave II and offered a free sharpening. Amazing! Told them I’d be glad to accept this offer and will send in mine asap the become blunt again.

A Twitter meme, started by Alen Wekesa (@iAlen), a Kenyan resident in Tanzania, on how to know you’RE Kenyan.

In chronolocigal order, just because some of them are so true. Incomplete, mixed-up list as of 08. September, lunch time, RTs (re-tweets) not included. Enjoy + pls feel to add some more, either via a comment or via Twitter.

• @zionafrika #youknowyourKenyan when you arrest all youngest with dread locks for the clam that they are mungiki member
• @jke #youknowyourKenyan When a conversation with another Kenyan goes like this: “Ah, so you’re from Kenya? Where from?”
• @jke #youknowyourKenyan in the diaspora when your folks in Nbo only call you to ask for kitu kidogo or for that *urgent* Paypal transaction
• @Udisco #youknowyourkenyan when you call every City/Town Council “Kanjo”…
• @jamesmurua #youknowyourkenyan When your roadside maindi dealer doesn’t have pili pili and you raise a hissy fit.
• @bytebandit #youknowyourKenyan when you meet a childhood playmate who had one of those nicknames e.g. toi, boi, mdogo etc
• @mkaigwa #youknowyourkenyan when you call your daughter “Mum” and your son “Daddy” #buthowwouldiknowidonthavekids?
• @majiwater #youknowyourkenyan when customer serivce agents always have an excuse and blatantly deny responsibility for not delivering service.
• @tchenya #youknowyourkenyan when All children have annoying nicknames. (bebi, toi, boi, kadogo, nyako, dadie, toto, kanono, twig)
• @tchenya #youknowyourkenyan when u don’t have genuine containers or utensils, you only use margarine, ice-cream Blue band, Kasuku, Kimbo
• @africafeed #youknowyourkenyan If @coldtusker and @Kahenya accuse you of corruption.
• @majiwater #youknowyourkenyan when ‘no’ or ‘I dont know’ dont exist in your vocab. You always have an idea or always an expert.
• @majiwater #youknowyourkenyan when recycled and repackaged ‘visions’ and ‘dev plans’ since independence still give you hope of a brighter future
• @mountainous @youknowyourkenyan when you belive that voting for the same clowns every year because they have defected to a new party will change anything
• @mountainous #youknowyourkenyan when you blame TV for corrupting the morals of Todays Children yet you let them watch what they want.
• @paulakahumbu #youknowyourkenyan when you laugh at how bad things have gotten here… sad sad sad
• @Kizee_Brian #youknowyouarekenyan if traffic lights are just a suggestion and you do what you want anyway #youknowyourkenyan
• @tchenya @mountainous #youknowyourkenyan when youTotally agree with the wrong grammar #wearekenyan off course
• @paulakahumbu #youknowyourkenyan when your politicians say “dont worry El nino will solve the drought problem” – praying 4 one disaster to solve another!
• @Mkaigwa #youknowyourkenyan When you don’t remove the plastic cover from your remote, your car seats or your new mobile phone!!!
• @mkaigwa #youknowyourkenyan When you don’t remove the plastic cover from your remote, your car seats or your new mobile phone!!!
• @mkaigwa @paulakahumbu Hilarious! What about the fellas and ladies on Facebook using pictures of celebs (and having no other pics) #youknowyourkenyan
• @mkaigwa #youknowyourkenyan when you want to say what another Kenyan wanted to say first @Tchenya I was just about to tweet that. #iknowImkenyan
• @mountainous #Youknowyourkenyan when the only time you visited the game park was during a school trip (Sad!)
• @paulakahumbu #youknowyourkenyan when you miss every deadline – Africa time is… ouch!
• @paulakahumbu #youknowyourkenyan when you use a cute chick avatar on twitter and you’re a guy! Cheap stunt to get followers!
• @tchenya #youknowyourkenyan when your follow #youknowyourkenyan instead of #youknowyouarekenyan
• @tchenya #youknowyourkenyan when your radio station reads news from your daily newspaper and you still have to listen to news.
• @mountainous #youknowyourkenyan if you are still waiting for the ‘Serikali’ to ‘give’ you a job! <== Kwani its an entitlement, look for it.
• @mountainous #youknowyourkenyan when you complain about everything, power, roads, water, school, food, etc and do nothing!
• @tchenya #youknowyourkenyan when you read #youknowyourkenyan tweets to understand who you really are
• @jke #youknowyourKenyan when you are still waiting for Nyayo Car.
• @mountainous #youknowyourkenyan when you insist on negotiating every purchase!
• @inteligensia #youknowyourkenyan when you write tweets long enough that they continue next line (via @TChenya)
• @tchenya #youknowyourkenyan when you use twitter instead of woofer.com
• @tchenya #youknowyourkenyan when you write tweets long enough that they continue next line
• @mountainous @youknowyourKenyan when you ask for a WARM BEER! This has been pointed out so many times by foreigners.
• @paulakahumbu #youknowyourkenyan because nobody has a landline anymore
• @paulakahumbu #youknowyourkenyan when your power is off 3 days a week and they double your bill , and you don’t say anything.
• @careyeaton #youknowyourkenyan when you don’t question the publication of prices of sacks of vegetables in the newspaper.
• @paulakahumbu #youknowyourkenyan when power company bills u wrongly by 20,000 & says pay & we’ll resolve the problem – or we’ll disconnect u immediately
• @careyeaton #youknowyourkenyan when you tell foreigners that ugali is cuisine.
• @mountainous #youknowyourkenyan when you must have a #HARAMBEE for everything! Amen!
• @mountainous #youknowyourkenyan when you must have a #HARAMBEE for everything!
• @Akarumba #youknowyourkenyan when your MP says ‘I dont earn a 6 figure salary, I only make 800,000!! – Unbelievable!
• @careyeaton #youknowyourkenyan when the only thing you know what to do when you drive up to a gate is hoot
• @inteligensia #youknowyourkenyan When you tell ignorant peeps that r runners keep fit by running to school, running from lions (via @paulakahumbu)
• @mountainous #youknowyourkenyan when you groove to gospel tracks at the disco
• @mountainous #youknowyourkenyan when you have worn a pair of safari boots
• @Akarumba #youknowyourkenyan when your MP says ‘I dont earn a 6 figure salary, I only make 800,000!!
• @paulakahumbu #youknowyourkenyan when a hole in your ear works like a “KWS smart card” – know what I mean? Free park entry 4 life!
• @paulakahumbu #youknowyourkenyan when you actually take that 500/- before entering the poll booth…and then vote for the idiot!
• @paulakahumbu #youknowyourkenyan when you proudly wear shorts, long socks safari boots and say “I’m from Keeeeenya”
• @paulakahumbu #youknowyourkenyan When you tell ignorant peeps that r runners keep fit by running to school, running from lions – I do it all the time :)
• @paulakahumbu #youknowyourkenyan coz billions r made by foreigners fm biopropsecting and none of it comes home – stonewash story
• @RookieKE #youknowyourkenyan when your mother’s sitting room has all your graduation potraits,and she wants more.
• @paulakahumbu #youknowyourkenyan when you pay a processing fee then fly to Nigeria to collect your “winnings” in an online lotto scam – WTF?
• @inteligensia #youknowyourkenyan because our politiians s think ‘blog’ is a rude word (via @paulakahumbu)
• @VIKKISECRETROXS #youknowyourkenyan when you’re disapointed at the “chai” lattes at Starbucks and you wanna go home everytime you think of REAL tea
• @VIKKISECRETROXS #youknowyourkenyan when Obama being president is a reason to drink
• @MosesKoinange #youknowyourkenyan when you drink on the beach and feel NOTHING hahahaa
• @paulakahumbu #youknowyourkenyan when you can’t work without a steaming cup of tea at your side
• @paulakahumbu #youknowyourkenyan because our politiians s think ‘blog’ is a rude word
• @paulakahumbu #youknowyourkenyan when u shake ur fists at pedestrians as ur matatu overtakes traffic by hurtling down pedestrian paths on major highways
• @paulakahumbu #youknowyourkenyan when you put 5 teaspoons of sugar in each of your ten cups of tea – then wonder why u got diabetes
• @mountainous #youknowyourKenyan when you start reading the newspaper with sports, then stars, then cartoons………
• @paulakahumbu #youknowyourkenyan when the boss of your online company talks about the ‘interweb’ in a fund raising meeting – ouch!
• @davdalx #youknowyourkenyan when you say your instead of you’re, but still follow the trend
• @bytebandit #youknowyourKenyan when you say “imbox” while referring to “inbox”
• @gishungwa #youknowyourKenyan if you bargain everything including bus fare
• @bytebandit #youknowyourKenyan when you see a commuter taxi aka mathree conductor hanging precariously on the door.
• @mountainous #youknowyourKenyan when you have peculiar calling habits eg jamming the network promptly at 5PM every Friday
• @paulakahumbu #youknowyourKenyan when you get used to washing in a bucket
• @paulakahumbu #youknowyourKenyan when the presidential escort rounds roundabout wrong way crashes into matatu beats up driver 4 risking presidents life
• @paulakahumbu #youknowyourKenyan when you realize your convent school classmates are involved in corruption scandals – gr8 education!
• @paulakahumbu #youknowyourKenyan when peeps greet you with their twitter names in public – “Hi I’m miss Wretched” @misswretched gr8!
• @paulakahumbu #youknowyourKenyan when most of ur tweeps greet u in the morning n ask if you slept well :-)
• @natekev #youknowyourKenyan when international artistes fail to show up in ur country days to their concert
• @dnyaga #youknowyourKenyan when you speak #swanglish (Me i kulad, i somad, … , then i lalaad!) (via @mtotowajirani @kenyanpundit @intelligensia)
• @bytebandit #youknowyourKenyan if you get an adrenalin rush and dance like whoa!! when the DJ hits a gospel track in the club.
• @bytebandit #youknowyourKenyan when someone says “crips” instead of “crisps”
• @Wyndago #youknowyourkenyan when you utter half a word in the middle of a sentence just to complete it ‘..then he ca..? He came’
• @inteligensia:#youknowyourKenyan when you speak #swanglish (Me i kulad, i somad, i twittered, then i lalaad!) (via @mtotowajirani)
• @kairitu #youknowyourkenyan when some random mamaz show up at your house and tell the mboch “tumetumwa na mwenye nyumba tuchukue gas,fridge….etc”
• @mountainous #youknowyourkenyan when you sin all week long and expect that going to Church, listening to Christian music on Sunday will erase it all
• @gitts #youknowyourkenyan when you buy a Toyota yet you wanted a Subaru
• @gitts #youknowyourkenyan when the car in front of you is a Toyota
• @kairitu #youknowyourkenyan when you cant wait for mayoral elections to happen coz most definately cityhall watauana
• @AkelLove #youknowyourkenyan when you’ll take anything that’s free.
• @AkelLove #youknowyourkenyan when your president is senile.
• @gitts #youknowyourKenyan when you pronounce heart, hat, hurt and hut the same way
• @kairitu #youknowyourkenyan when the goverment announces an emergency vaccination then the parents go like “they want to make our kids sterile”
• @gitts #youknowyourKenyan when you have a VHS tape of Sarafina in your digs
• @gitts #youknowyourKenyan when you are surprised that the road doesn’t have any potholes
• @gitts #youknowyourKenyan when telling a story you say half aword and wait for it to be completed
• @gitts #youknowyourKenyan when you have a dog called simba and mbwa kali sign on your gate
• @gitts #youknowyourKenyan when you pronounce Milo me-lo instead of my-lo
• @gitts #youknowyourKenyan when every time you alight from public transport you have to check your pockets
• @inteligensia #youknowyourKenyan when your neighbours kids are called ocampo, obama and bolt! (via @mtotowajirani)
• @magaribina Si #youknowyourKenyan when you somehow manage to turn every third sentence into a question, yeah ?
• @magaribina #youknowyourKenyan if you measure distance by shillings ( si mbali – ni thirty bob tu)
• @MosesKoinange #youknowyourKenyan when someone shows up 2 hours late and says ‘don’t worry, it’s African time” (time to kill them!)
• @mountainous #youknowyourkenyan when the whole village (including the chief) come for your graduation ceremony and insist on decorating you with Tinsel!
• @mountainous #youknowyourkenyan when christmas lunch or any party isn’t complete without Chapatis
• @mountainous #youknowyourkenyan when you expect “Serikali” to do everything for you, feed, educate, cloth, employ, treat. Heck even pay your Dowry!
• @mountainous #youknowyourkenyan whenever you asked by a TV reporter about any calamity/problem you respond starting with “Serikali inapaswa kusaidia…..
• @wilfylou #youknowyourkenyan when you say excusssss instead of excuse me.
• @mountainous #youknowyourkenyan when you ask for a salary advance the week after payday!
• @mountainous #youknowyourkenyan when your ultimate concept of going out is Nyamachoma in a dingy joint while grooving to Mugithi/Benga/lingala
• @mountainous #youknowyourkenyan when you think only people from Central love money, We ALL love money!!!!!
• @mountainous #youknowyourkenyan when you actually believe HIV/AIDS only infects unmarried/loose/poor/uneducated people
• @mountainous #youknowyourkenyan when you insist on staying on the more expensive, unreliable, congested cellphone network
• @egm_photo #youknowyourKenyan if you complain about the dirty condition of the streets/roads, yet you toss stuff out of your car window free style!
• @iAlen #youknowyourKenyan when you send a hot chick credit and she flashes you back to just say thanks!
• @iAlen #youknowyourKenyan when you can’t get your grammar right even in the hash-tag @paulakahumba
• @mountainous #youknowyourKenyan when you stop the matatu infront of your gate then spend all day bitching about how Matatu are causing jam
• @mountainous #youknowyourKenyan when you wait till the last minute to do your back to school/christmas/household shopping
• @mountainous #youknowyourKenyan when you flash someone and when he @ she calls back you only say you wanted to say Hi!!!!
• @mountainous #youknowyourKenyan when you call someone just to ask ‘uko wap?’
• @iAlen #youknowyourKenyan when someone insists there only one First family and Wambui et al know otherwise…..
• @iAlen #youknowyourKenyan when you call State House and the person on the other end goes, “You want a srap?” lol
• @bnalyanya #youknowyourKenyan when you can’t get your grammar right even in the hash-tag
• @iAlen #youknowyourkenyan when on Sunday Kibaki didnt go to kabarak for sunday service!
• @iAlen #youknowyourkenyan in Tanzania having a Tusker and its just tastes like crap!
• @iAlen #youknowyourkenyan when your in Tanzania and wabongo are speaking in Swa!
• @Shiko_Msa @iAlen @paulakahumbu @crystalsimeoni when peeps queue at express counter with trolleyfulls #supermarkets #youknowyourkenyan. @toneendungu
• @iAlen @Shiko_Msa @crystalsimeoni @Mwirigi #youknowyourKenyan when there’s no news on the news (its the same old same old) haha
• @iAlen @Shiko_Msa @paulakahumbu @crystalsimeoni RT #youknowyourKenyan when goodbye’s end in “nice time”…uh…yeah you too…
• @Mwirigi #youknowyourKenyan when there’s no news on the news (its the same old same old)
• @crystalsimeoni #youknowyourKenyan when goodbye’s end in “nice time”…uh…yeah you too…
• @iAlen @paulakahumbu #youknowyourKenyan when you say “Hello” and he answers “fine” …what the hell do you say next? hahahahahahahahaha
• @iAlen @kainvestor@Shiko_Msa @paulakahumbu RT #youknowyourKenyan when someone calls you and says “who am I speaking to?” hahaha
• @paulakahumbu #youknowyourKenyan when you get back from holiday and your manager says “your back from China?”
• @iAlen #youknowyourKenyan when you’re next door neighbour is a Mungiki adherant and you cant report it to the authorities
• @paulakahumbu #youknowyourKenyan when someone calls you and says “who am I speaking to?”
• @iAlen #youknowyourKenyan when you start negotiating for you wallet from the pickpocket on a mathree
• @paulakahumbu #youknowyourKenyan when being able to say “I’ve never given a bribe” is something worth getting a prize for
• @iAlen #youknowyourKenyan when you steal from public coffers and get reappointed Minister
• @paulakahumbu #youknowyourKenyan when you say “Hello” and he answers “fine” …what the hell do you say next?
• @iAlen @queenkenya562 @MosesKoinange @paulakahumbu #youknowyourKenyan when you call a parastatal and the receptionist goes, “kunatia?”
• @paulakahumbu @Shiko_Msa nice one …and #youknowyourKenyan when she says “Imagine” in response to every statement
• @iAlen #youknowyourKenyan when you call a parastatal and the receptionist goes, “kunatia?”
• @Shiko_Msa @paulakahumbu when the word ‘otherwise’ is a greeting #youknowyourkenyan?
• @paulakahumbu #youknowyourKenyan when police refuse your offer of pie in a bag in response to “can u give us something for lunch” – I did that :) ha ha
• @paulakahumbu #youknowyourKenyan when police get into ur car 2 get 2 next police check then offer u KSh 200 for fuel – 4 hours later!
• @paulakahumbu @ialen #youknowyourKenyan when the radio DJ tells a crying woman who called in to stay with her brutal husband for the sake of the kids :(
• @paulakahumbu #youknowyourKenyan when the breakdown service truck is being towed – I saw that today!
• @paulakahumbu #youknowyourKenyan when the traffic police are push starting their car
• @paulakahumbu #youknowyourKenyan when u turn on radio and they r playing Roger Whittaker – we must b the only people on the planet who listen to that crap
• @iAlen @paulakahumbu #youknowyourKenyan when you get “leave a message” when you dial 911 lolest @moseskoinange @ialen @kainvestor
• @paulakahumbu #youknowyourKenyan when they give you anti malaria pills for a headache
• @paulakahumbu #youknowyourKenyan when you get “number out of service” when you dial 911 or KWS hotline for that matter
• @paulakahumbu #youknowyourKenyan when you get “leave a message” when you dial 911
• @paulakahumbu #youknowyourKenyan when you tell the guy who jumped the q to go back to the end and he says “do you know who I am?”
• @paulakahumbu @moseskoinange @ialen @kainvestor #youknowyourKenyan when ur warned “uta lala ndani” for worn tyres
• @iAlen #youknowyourKenyan when Michuki rattles at you and you cant do anything about it!
• @iAlen #youknowyourKenyan when half of the MP’s in the house have past criminal convictions! ouch!
• @iAlen #youknowyourKenyan when 17 screaming cars 42 bikes with flashing lights pull traffic off road 2 let Rais attend to a golf lunch on a Monday
• @wayneryner #youknowyourKenyan when you rape, steal n kill and expect your kids to love n respect you
• @paulakahumbu #youknowyourKenyan when 17 screaming cars 42 bikes with flashing lights pull traffic off road 2 let Rais attend to a golf lunch on a Monday
• @iAlen #youknowyourKenyan when F 2 is beckoning at midnight
• @iAlen #youknowyourKenyan when your listening to Genge!
• @iAlen #youknowyourKenyan when Kenyans dont know about twitter Trending Topics and cant contribute…..hah
• @iAlen #youknowyourKenyan when karaos on night patrol arrest you and ask for your grandfathers ID….
• @iAlen #youknowyourKenyan when Museveni attacks Migingo and Kibaki is comfortably sleeping and doing nothing about it
• @iAlen #youknowyourKenyan when the First Lady goes srapping journalists at mid night….i wirr srapp you
• @iAlen #youknowyourKenyan when you are enjoying succulent nyama choma at Dagoretti Corner or Olepolos….yummy
• @iAlen #youknowyourKenyan when you hear your President saying Kubaff in public…lol

Know of any other reasons that fit into this meme? Go ahead and comment or participate by adding a “#youknowyourKenyan” to your Tweet!

(Twitter logo based on the wonderful work of Gopal – thx!)

CARAVAN RECORDS presents – Mzungu Kichaa ft Professor Jay and Mwasiti

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