Tribune

While boarding the Embu-bound Matatu last night, my attention was caught by a weekly “newspaper” (magazine) that sells for Ksh. 10: Tribune.

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Tribune – For the full information.

The story that caught me of course was the “sexual advise” inside. After all, politics and sex/love stories are almost the same thing: nothing but many words and many lies.

Says it here on page 3:

“Dating: 7 Things Men Don’t Want To Hear From Women

1.I’ve been thinking….
If she actually tells you she’s been thinking, it’s serious. And you can bet it involves marriage, cohibition or the bitter end. It can take many forms, such as “Why do you love me?” and “Have you ever thought about the future?”. Again, have a brilliant exit plan at hand. A severed finger, for instance

4. I have a headache…
That means no action for you tonight, buddy. But you can beat her to it (!!!!!!!). If you sense she’s particularly tired when you’re honey, give her an unsolicited aspirin and hope for the best.”

Aterere….dear Kenyan brothers-in-fate, don’t tell me your women are just as bad as ours. LOL! Oh my …..

That paper is full of such “women better don’t read this” stuff. 10 bob….I could have spent on buying 2 packs of peanuts instead. Yeah…

p.s.: Do you know how it smells when cooks burn goat skin? No? Ok, come to Embu and visit me. And pls bring some Ohropax – I live next to a nightclub and its kitchen.

Posted in mapenzi, politics | 1 Comment

Nairobi…

A relatively short visit @ nyumbani over the weekend proved once again how much this “City in the Sun” differs from shaggz, which I’ve btw already started to appreciate. After all, there are some things you’ll never find in Embu:

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1. City Council thugs that hide behind other cars and wait just until you’ve left your car. This happened to a friends car on Sato asubuhi in downtown – we had just left the place for 2 minutes and the front wheel was already clamped. And there was no one in sight to whom we could pay the 70 bob parking fee.
Fortunately, it just took a little bit of the “JKE-going-really-mad”-show (aka kelele mingi) to persuade these yellow folks to promptly unclamp the car. He even didn’t want to be paid: “No, it is ok, me I don’t even have a receipt book”. But clamping is ok or what? What a ******* *********.

@CityCouncil: IMAGINE I COULD BE A TOURIST VISITING NAIROBI AND I DON’T KNOW ABOUT THIS PROCEEEEDJAAAH. How do I know what to do next? To whom do I have to speak to? Where is the office(r) that takes responsibility for such actions? Who will pay me for the time I’ve lost to clear this problem? ==> Customer Service??

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2. The Tree Planting & Beautification Programme, if I may remind you. I really like this word…“Beautification”.
I saw an older woman planting little seedlings next to the young trees on Moi Avenue and congratulated her on her important work. I really appreciate what these people are doing for the city. For us. ASANTE SANA!
(And you might well imagine what kind of job groups they are having….A?, B?)

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3. Oh boy, we were SOOOOO hungry today. And besides, I really wanted to eat a real + a really gooood steak – just as pictured on this typically oversized billboard.

Nairobi is the only city, I guess, where they don’t feel irritated by putting such mouth-watering advertisments next to low income areas. I feel a bit irritated by this add.

(btw, anyone knows a good place in Embu where I’ll get a medium done steak which chips and salads that doesn’t feel like eating old rubber and tastes like Omo? thx!)

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(@CG: kuja, bwana, your car is already here! :-)

4. Bwana Harrycane and I went to see Mzeecedric‘s parents in Mbagathi to show them GPRS via Safaricom – and we even managed to chat with Mzeecedric in Europe via Skype (VoIP!).
Sitting on the veranda, watching over Nairobi National Park and being able to actually chat with someone who is ~ 6600kms away over a wireless gprs + voip telephone connection still fascinates me. This GPRS thing really is a step forward from the awful 951 dial-in procedure, and I am very curious to see how reliable and fast UMTS (WCDMA) will be once it is fully deloyed nationwide.

Still, the best place to surf the net for free is JavaHouse. Yani, the one at Junction didn’t have Inet as “we switch it off during peak-hours (= till 8 pm)”. Why?? The one at Adams “Oh, it just doesn’t work…but only today…”. Yeah, right.
Gigiri was open though, and next to downloading some software for the office, I even chatted for a short moment with our sista Kui in Abuja. Nice!

Nairobi really is this city of different worlds.

And now from all this luxury back to the rural comfort…aterere..

Posted in EAKenya, whatever | 6 Comments

the deal

“The leaders, who are fatigued by the big brother style of the West, will likely turn willingly to China’s generosity.” (source)

&

“China is expected to become Africa’s third most important trading partner, behind the US and France and ahead of the UK.” (JC Servant @ LeMonde diplomatique in 2005)

Allmost all imported goods in Embu are “Made in China”. Except for the sweets – those are from India.

Posted in politics | 2 Comments

the watch

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I haven’t worn my watch for a long time now. And why should I?

Travelling in Kenya (Africa) isn’t fixed to specific times or dates. You just look for transport, wait, wait even longer, eat something, wait, talk to someone, wait, play with your mobile, wait…and then eventually transport arrives – only to realize that it actually goes to another direction.

While growing up in Nairobi, I never rearlly cared about this time factor. Things just happened this way and it was ok. Now I am older and time becomes more precious. It’s like waiting in front of the computer for pages to load from the internet: An annoying waste of time – but there’s nothing you can do about it.

(although, as for travelling, I’ve come to the conclusion that instead of paying 300 bob in advance for a 10pax shuttle bus to Nbo and waiting for more than two hours for the ******* bus to arrive, I should instead just walk by the roadside and take the next matatu coming along. this way, it should just work.)

Posted in EAKenya, maisha | 4 Comments

ain’t no mountain high enough…

Listen, Baby…

…uko wapi, Mbuzimoja?

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